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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mixed emotions.

I couldn't be happier to be expecting. The thought of being able to be pregnant again and have my family grow feels amazing! I love that I get to do this with Doug. I love that I really get to enjoy being pregnant. And I LOVE that Bella gets to be a big sister but for some reason I'm really sad that it will only be just her for a few more months. I do still have 7 months but I know time also goes by too quickly especially when your happy. I've been so lucky to have almost 4 years of just mommy and Bella time and even though I wanted a baby 2 years ago I'm almost happy I didn't get pregnant then. I have just loved being Bella's mom. We get our nails done, go shopping, go swimming, play games and just have us time every day! It sounds so silly but I just live my little girl and I'm even more grateful now that I was able to stay home and really get to spend so much one on one time with her. I know I'll always look back at these years of only having one child and be grateful for the memories and relationship we've built. I'm so scared that ill waist these 7 months and not really enjoy Her. She was my first love after all.
I guess one of my fears of having more children is that I won't make enough quality time with them. That ill be too tired to enjoy it, to busy worrying about a clean house, to busy in general to enjoy just being a mother. Just thinking about it makes me want to grab Bella and squeeze her! I might be a bit clingy to my little girl these next few months. I hope when she gets older that she knows how much she is loved. I hope she always remembers that she's a princess. I hope she remembers how hard Doug and I have worked to be the best parents we could be just for her. I hope she knows that we wanted more babies because she taught us how to love. I feel so lucky to be her mom. Being a mother really is a gift.