A good day.

I haven't felt like the best mom ever lately. I haven't felt like I've been enjoying my children like I should. Today was not one of those days and because of that I don't want to forget it.

Today wasn't anything special. I got both girls ready and Bella and I were having such a good time talking and getting her ready that we were almost late for school.

I was even able to squeeze a nice nap in which I think is half the reason to our great day because I honestly felt like a new woman when I woke up! I got out the door and Headed to Costco. The only two things I really needed from there was diapers And gas which i did both but since we had no where to be and j was in a good mood we just browsed and waisted time. Bella showed me all the toys she wanted Santa to get her, charlie sampled the snacks they had and we just had a good time being girls! Bella got some new fleece lined legging which made me the best mom ever in Bellas eyes. 

Next was target, which I needed nothing from. Looked at all the clothes and when we left I decided "I don't feel like cooking." So off the McDonald's we went and I got Bella a happy meal which she said "mom your the best!! I'll love you forever." And as I gave charlie a French fry I could see it in her eyes that she said it too ;) 

In other words, i waisted time today, didn't clean, didn't cook a healthy meal. We are junk food but at the end of the day I felt like a winner in my daughters eyes. I never yelled. I wasn't distracted on my phone. I was with my girls, we laughed. I was grateful to be their mom. I was grateful that doug works so hard  so that I can stay home and enjoy my kids. I am grateful that I was present and fully enjoyed my babies. My heart is full tonday. 

Total mom moment.

Every day my alarm on my phone goes off at 3pm to pick up Bella from the bus stop. I looked at my phone at 2:55 and got a head start (because I need it now that it's cold) and got my shoes on and grabbed my jacket from my room. Right at 3 my phone goes off I pick up charlie to put her coat on and I notice she's stinky so I take her to her room to change her and get her ready to go and of course as I move my hand I notice it's wet. I look at her back and she had a MAJOR blow out up to her neck! 

I don't have time for this mess but what's a mom to do when her baby is covered in poop? I hurry and strip her, run to the bathroom and scrub her body really fast. Don't wash her hair because it's cold outside. I got her dressed (pajamas of course) quicker than quick and I'm out the door in ten minutes. Lucky for me my neighbor is nice and is already walking Bella home since I was obviously late picking her up. 

Thank you charlie for exploding in between 2:55 and 3. 

My brain at midnight.

Charlie's first birthday is coming up and it's starting to scare me but not for the reason you would expect. Yes, I can't believe she'll be one in 6 weeks and all that jazz but mostly I can't believe I still don't have any idea of when doug and I will be ready to have baby #3. I know your probably wondering "areli, calm down she'll only be one." But I have a few fears. I'm afraid I'll never feel ready but I know I want another baby. I'm afraid doug will never feel ready even though I know he doesn't feel done yet either. I'm afraid I'll feel ready and not be able to get pregnant for a long time and my babies won't be close in age again. I'm afraid I won't be able to get pregnant at all and feel that ache in my heart again. I'm afraid charlie might be my last baby and I'm not appreciating her enough. Will I never have a son? Will I never have another daughter? 

Believe me I have been praying about when will be the right time and I am still unsure. Will I wait 6 months? Will I wait another year? Will I wait a year, feel ready and not be able to get pregnant for another year and a half? 

I'm not sure. All I know is I need to have faith. I need to trust Heavenly Father and remember no matter the outcome, no matter my feeling during the process in the end I will feel heavenly fathers love. He will hold me up when I feel like falling. 

I wish I had a magic number the perfect number of months or years to wait to have a child. But I know well enough that there is no magic number and my plan and Doug's plan doesn't really matter. The uncertainty is the worst. I wish I could look into a crystal ball and see a glimpse of the future. 

9 months!

My baby is 9 months! She is the cutest little baby (yes I'm biased.) she's also SOOO dang big it's kinda sad. She is already in 12 month clothes. One outfit is actually a bit snug on her. She's so much different than Bella clothes wise. Bella could wear one outfit all day long and it still wouldn't be very dirty. she also wore each size of clothes for a long time so she was able to really wear her clothes multiple times, but charlie is so messy she needs to change 2-3 times a day and some of her clothes she hasn't even worn because she grows out of everything so quickly. 

Anyway a little about her this last month. The only new and exciting thing is she is standing on her own! I get so excited when I see her stand up for a few seconds on her own. I can't believe it! The first time I saw her do it was at my sisters house and I shrieked with excitement! She stood there for about 7 seconds which I know isn't very long but I'm her mom and it's amazing to me! She walks (when she wants to) with her walker pretty well. She's so cute! And as cute as it is I feel like she's way to little to be standing or walking with a walker on her own...

Slow down sweet baby. 

 

 Here's another 9 month picture. I think these pictures have been my favorite with the pumpkins, the chalkboard and charlies little fall outfit. Today actually felt like fall. It was a bit chilly outside and it was so fun and cute bundling charlie and Bella on our way to and from the bus stop. 

Charlie usually rips hats off the second they are on her head so I'm surprise she kept this on the entire time. I think she liked being bundled up too. 

Paint and Sip, The Fall show, Pumpkin Carving and the Primary Program!

I had one of the best weekends! Friday was Blanca's birthday and we celebrated by going to paint and sip. It was something new and so much fun!

The finished product. It was fun to see how different everyone's turned out. I'm glad I was able to do this with my sisters and mom. I think it would be super fun as a date night too! 

Saturday came and I made French toast and bacon for breakfast. Everyone loved it and I loved having breakfast with my family. We got ready and went to the fall show in Boise. It was suppose to be crafts and help give you ideas on how to decorate your home but it was really just a bunch of vendors. I was kinda disappointed. I only saw two crafters. I say kinda disappointed because I did expect for it to be 50% vendors but it was still a fun family event. 

After we went home, carved/drilled pumpkins & cooked the seeds. They were alright. Doug loved drilling the pumpkin. He hates carving them because he gets impatient and he said that's his new job every year! 

Bella surprised me with how helpful she actually was at carving and how long she actually helped. Usually it's for 5 minutes and then she's done. She stayed the entire time!

Charlie loved it because we put her in the high chair and gave her baby snacks the entire time. You want to win my babies heart? Give her food. 

Our two pumpkins! I think they turned out pretty good. I'll admit they look better without the flash. 

 

After pumpkin carving we went to our stake's Harvest Fest. They had face painting, a punk in contest, food, dancing and a hay ride somewhere. We did it all besides the hay ride and it was actually a lot of fun! I didn't know a lot of people there and the people I did know had already seen my dance moves so when Bella wanted to dance we danced! It was so fun! 

They had the party outside,  it was pretty dark and Bella randomly asked us to run into the field and look at the stars and we were having such a good time I decided "why not?" We ran out there giggling and laid down on the grass and stared at the stars. Doug and charlie joined us and Bella said she saw a shooting star so she closed her eyes for a minute and then said she made a wish. Then she whispered in my ear that she had wished

She could be a princess, that she could eat cotton candy every day, that candy was healthy, and that she could get her drivers license without having to take lessons. It was so incredibly melt your heart precious! One of those moments you day dream about when your pregnant with your little baby. One of those moments that I will hold onto and treasure forever! In other words, yes I cried. 

Anyway we went back to the party and danced some more. It was SUCH a fun family day. 

Our weekend ended on Sunday which was also great! Our ward had its primary program and the kids are too cute! They asked our class what made their family special and Bella said "my mom and dad made a very cute baby, I love my baby sister." And she does. They ended it with my favorite hymn " I stand all amazed." And again I got teary eyed. 

I loved my weekend and I was sad it went by so quickly. They always seem to. 

My 1st Ipsy Bag review and October Favorites!

 Have you herd of ipsy? It's a $10 Monthly Beauty bag subscription. My friend Janae told me about it and the more I looked it up and YouTubed it the more I wanted in! I signed up and thought I'd try it out. There is a wait list but if you subscribe, follow, and like a couple things your off of it that same day.

So the bag for October (did I mention you get a new bag every month?) was a super cute teal bag. I love it! 

This month I got 

A Doll 10 beauty highlighter 

Figs & Rouge hand cream

Indie lee brightening cleanser

Skone cosmetics Tattooed waterproof eyeliner 

And Starlooks lip gloss. 

My favorite items were definitely the eyeliner and the highlighter. I was so excited to try both! It really is just so fun to get a little treat just for me. I feel like everything I do is surrounded by my family especially my girls which is great but it's nice to remember myself. I also asked my friend Megan, my mom and my sisters if they wanted to sign up and do it with me because duh the more the merrier and they did and they all loved their ipsy bag too!

 

I thought I'd also add some of my October favorites too since I'm being selfish and talking about myself so much ;) 

 

 

 The first and second go hand in hand. My Naked 2 Pallet that my wonderful husband got me for our anniversary and Too faced shadow insurance. Shocker the primer really truly makes a difference and my new eye shadow pallet is soooooooooo pretty! If I didn't have two girls I would play with it all day, and my eyes would probably be bright red lol.

 

 

#3 My mom and I went to Ulta together and they had a buy 2 get 1 polish free and we decided we needed to take advantage of this awesome deal! Out of the three these two are probably my ultimate favorite polish colors ever. Especially and surprisingly the real one "ski teal we drop." The other one is "in the cable carpool lane." 

 

#4 Too faced better than sex mascara. I've herd a lot of people rave about it and I decided I'd try it out for myself. It didn't disappoint people.

 

 

#5 An oldie but a goodie! I've had this lipstick for probably 2 years. I haven't been very brave with lippies ever. I feel self conscious when I wear them but recently I wore a bright and bold lipstick and Doug complimented me like 3 times and apparently that was all I needed. Now this Blissful berry is my favorite and I'm finally brave enough to wear it and enjoy it :)

 

 

#6 Always a favorite for this lady. January thru December. I have such thick hair that I hate blow-drying and taking the time to do it every day. a few sprays of this and you wont even know I didn't wash my hair that day...or the day before...or the day before that. seriously I go 3-4 days without washing my hair. Yes I still shower every day though.

 

#7 another anniversary gift and I am loving it! The Anastasia Brow wiz. Can I just say I have always always been skeptical about filling in my brows because I might be one too many swipes away from looking a little "lean like a chola" but this nifty tool made me brave enough to fill them in and my brows look great! they have shape now, my eyes look more awake and overall I just feel prettier.

 

#8 last but definitely not least the bath and body works pumpkin apple candle. I just discovered how amazing the bath and body works candles are and I am loving them! I love how one candle will make my entire home smell delicious. this particular scent is amazing on a cool brisk day reminding me that yes Christmas will be here soon!

I hope everyone enjoyed this post. its not a post I would normally write about but I'm feeling more like myself these days. I'm remembering that doing something, anything for myself is so refreshing! I'm lucky to have such a great husband who encourages me to take time to myself and treat myself when we can.

Also if you want to try the ipsy bag for a month or two (you can cancel whenever you want) I will post a link right HERE!

My sweet Bella.

I have been so proud of my sweet Bella the two weeks. Unfortunately  about 2 weeks ago two people I know lost their babies. One I'm close to and the other even though I'm not close to my heart broke for her. In those moments I wish I could fix the situation or do something, anything for them. There wasn't much physically I could do so I prayed for them all day long. At night Bella and I always pray together before bed and that night was no different except I told her we needed to pray for these 4 parents. She asked why and I told her that their babies passed away. Her face immediately became serious. She asked a few more questions, I answered some and then she prayed for all 4 parents. The amazing part is for the last two weeks without reminding her at all she has been praying for them by name. My little 5 year old amazes me sometimes. I don't think I have ever been so proud of her. At five years old she already has such a strong testimony of prayer.

We recently added my moms friend to our list. And tonight she asked if anyone else needed our prayers. So if you know anyone who needs an extra prayer let us know. We will gladly pray for them. It's the least we can do. 

It's great to be 8...months old!

I've been awful at keeping up with charlies monthly updates which bums me out because I know i forget all these first of hers!

But hopefully I won't procrastinate any more :)

Charlie is 8 months (and 2 weeks old) now. Her first tooth FINALLY broke thru yesterday! Her two bottom teeth have been coming and her gums have been swollen for a while but they took their sweet time actually breaking the skin. Charlie has been a champ though. It doesn't seem to faze her much. 

She is now fully crawling and had been for about a month and a half. She was a late roller but as soon as she started rolling she started rolling all over the house and then just full on crawling. For the past two weeks she's been mastering pulling her self up and walking along the furniture. I still can't believe how mobile she is! She loves opening and getting into anything she's not suppose to. Her nick name right now is "trouble." Infact we might change her name to charlie trouble maker Simpson. 

She also LOVES eating anything but baby food. She wants what we're eating and sometimes refuses baby food. And for about a week now is only drinking formula. I wanted to breastfeed for a year and around 7 months I started to get worn out. She was still waking up twice a night and I knew it was because she wanted to nurse for comfort not because she was hungry and being the selfish mom I am just wanted to sleep thru the night. It took her a while to get her to drink formula but once I did (and by i I mean my sister) she had no problem taking a bottle except at night which I expected. I slowly weaned her off her night time bottle and sure enough she decided waking up for a bottle wasn't worth it. So we are both now happy and well rested! 

Here are her monthly pictures. It's not as easy as it looks....

But in the end we end up with a decent picture :) 

My baby started kindergarten

I CANT believe Bella is in kindergarten. We had her meet the teacher day last Tuesday and her teacher is so nice. Bella really likes her. She learned where her chair at school was and where her cubby was. Then today came and she was so excited! I was too:) she said "I can't believe I get to wear my new outfit today!" We went back to school shopping 2 weeks ago and I made her wait to wear her new outfit. I wish she needed more clothes but Bella seriously has WAY too much so I couldn't justify buying her more than one outfit. 

Doug and I drove her to school and we were the second people to arrive. Bella was a little shy at first but I could tell how excited she was.

Watching her walk inside with her class was so sad for me. She waved at me and I just wanted to follow her so bad! I wanted to see what she was going to do that day. I wanted to watch her interact with her classmates, her teacher. In a weird way I was jealous of her teacher. My baby is growing up. 

When I picked up Bella from school I was so excited to hear about her day and I'm happy to say she LOVED it! She told me all day everything she did today. She told me they colored, they played, they spun, Her teacher read her books. I really am so happy gang she loved it. It really was such a relief to me. I would have been so sad to send her back everyday if she hated it but she is so ready for school!

Tomorrow Bella wants to ride the bus....wish us luck. I'm scared about that too and was perfectly happy taking her to school everyday but she wants to ride the bus dang it...

I made a cute little video of Bella's first day right here. I know I'll love watching it when she's older:)

 

 

The pick me up I've been praying for.

I'm not sure why but for the past few weeks, months I'm not sure anymore I have been in such a spiritual rut. It takes everything in me to get dressed and ready for church on Sunday. I have to remember to pray in the mornings, and reading my scriptures feels like such a burden. I don't like it. I keep going thru the motions but that's about it. If you know me, really know me you'd know I pray almost constantly. In my head it's like a never ending prayer keeping an open conversation with my Heavenly Father. So this last few weeks I've been praying and asking what can I do to get out of this? Today I got a little answer. 

http://youtu.be/2w49_1a9X0Q

I watched this video and my heart was full again. I'm human and this isn't my first spiritual rut but it's the first time it's lasted so long. Watching this mans testimony and story reminded of when I felt at my most darkness. How I felt with my first act of faith which was a simple prayer. I remember how I felt after. It's so comforting knowing that my answers are always a prayer away. 

"I realized it was part as our condition as mortals to sometimes feel as if we are surrounded by darkness. And even though we feel lost, that god promises go uliuminate the way before us. No matter how long it takes. 

Spiritual light rarely comes to those who merely sit in darkness waiting for someone to flip a switch. It takes an act of faith to open our eyes to the light of Christ." 

Promptings and blessings.

When we moved to Idaho we had two choices. 1. Live with our parents for a while and buy a house or 2. Live in the house Doug bought before we got married. #2 may seem obvious but the house Doug bought was old and a little bit on the smaller size especially to what were used to. We decided that even though we do love our parents we would probably love them more a few miles away from them lol. 

The first time I came to our house I almost cried. We have had 3 different renters living in it in the past three years and they really made it gross. The carpets were disgusting especially my future babies room. I thought "how in the world am I suppose to let my baby sleep in here!?" I wanted to call and yell at Doug. Seriously I didn't even want Bella to sit on the floor. I didn't know what to do so I did what I always do when I don't know what to do. I prayed. A lot! 

The next couple of days I humbled myself. A house is a house and I am not better than this one. Who am I to think I am above living here right? Especially since this was Doug's grandmas house. There are a few times in my life where I have felt like Heavenly Father is truly talking to me. I have to listen so carefully but I prayed so hard for comfort, for guidness seriously just anything and this is one of the few times I knew he said to me "this house will be a HUGE blessing to you." That was a huge turning point for me. A few days later Doug came and my mom and I had already started cleaning it and even though I cleaned the bathroom like I've never cleaned before (I scrubbed walls and ceilings!) he even said "i would feel bad giving Bella a bath in here." So we gutted it. New floors, vanity, closet thing, toilet, everything and it looked a million times better! I felt a million times better. Then my awesome dad took out the carpet in the kitchen and put new floors. I felt even better. And finally Doug took out the carpet in Charlie's room AND the padding underneath (it was soo filled with pet poo/pee that Even doug wanted to throw up) and put in new flooring. Nothing fancy but my baby could sleep in there. I was happy! We cleaned the carpets in the rest of the house moved everything in and called this place home. 

A few weeks later i hosted my sister in laws baby shower and Doug's aunts came. They knew this house from when Doug's grandparents lived here and they said something that made this house amazing in my eyes. They said that Doug's grandpa built this house for his grandma. That he wanted to make sure it was sturdy and she would be able to live here after he was gone. My little house was built with a lot of love and i now understood why after every little fixture doug said "my grandpa would be proud that I'm fixing this!" 

Okay so fast forward 8 months and I now know why this house is such a big blessing. It's small so 1.the mortgage is small. 2. We just paid it off. What!? Doug and I decided to try our hardest to be debt free ASAP and we paid off our house June 5, 2014! I'm 24 and Doug is 27 and we OWN our home! It feels amazing! I have to say Doug has been trying to get me on board for a while but I just didn't understand. He finally got me to start reading Dave Ramsey: the total money makeover and ever since then we have worked together to make this work! I'm sooo incredibly proud of my husband. He's seriously my hero and I wish I listened to him sooner! Doug has always been so worried about providing enough for our family and he works like crazy! Seriously I've never met anyone who works harder then him. I constantly have to remind him that he is doing enough and that we are more than happy! Now I have proof because in 6 months (we started at the end of January) we were able to pay off our house with me still being a stay at home mom and a new baby! So if you see him tell him he's awesome :) 

It's my birthday I can do what I want!

When I was pregnant and I pictured playing with my little girl I thought of a baby and a 5 year old. It sounds wierd but I just imagined playing with my five year old, her going to school for the first time, riding her bike and now that time is here. I've never really cried over Bella getting older until now. Seriously I'm crazy I cried not once, not twice bit FOUR times! I just can't believe how fast these last 5 years have gone and I'm a little scared of how fast the next 5 will go. 

Anyway so this year I was really hoping her birthday would be special. Doug and I got her a bike and I was sooo excited to see her face when she saw her brand new bike for the first time. Bella did not disappoint. Her jaw literally dropped when she first saw it and begged us to go ride it! We made her wait until after breakfast (mostly so we could wake up a little and not scare the neighbors with my morning face) but she didn't mind since Doug got her donuts for breakfast! We stuck a candle in it and sang to her. So after our nutritious breakfast we went on a bike ride and I have been looking forward to this bike ride since we bought the bike. Unfortunately Bella whined halfway thru that we were going to fast, there was too many cars, it was hot, the list goes on. Finally we made it home and her neighbor friends rode with us for a minute when my little monster started saying "it's my birthday I can do what I want" as she tried riding into the road. Doug grabbed her and corrected her But then after her saying it to Doug and back talking we had to take her inside for a time out and a stern talking to. I won't drag on the entire day but I was so excited to take her to her favorite lunch spot, a movie maybe, the park and we had to leave the park as soon as we got there because of the terrible fit she thru. Seriously one of the worst ones ever. We didn't even make it to the movie. Finally in the evening after dinner and some much needed quiet time for all if us I decided to try and redeem her birthday. Her neighbor friends that she loves came and played and she was happy. Then i walked to the park with Charlie while Bella rode her bike. She had a lot of fun and was really good! She saw a lot of her friends from church which was nice. When we came home she rode her bike around the house for about twenty min and instead of putting her to bed right at 8 I made popcorn put on a movie and let her start watching while I put Charlie to bed. Bella and I finished the movie and cuddled. I think we both needed the cuddle time. 

I feel like the meanest mom for putting Bella in time out so much today. Especially since now it's a five minute time out instead if four. I was so looking forward to having a great fun day but Bella wanted to keep me on my toes apparently lol. I asked her before bed if she had a good birthday and she said yes, and she was sorry for being naughty.  I'm glad she still enjoyed it. 

At the end of the day I still am very grateful for my little sour patch kid:) 

Bella's Golden Year.

Have you ever herd of your golden year? Your golden year is the year you turn the same age as your birthdate. So Bella turned 4 on June 4th last year. I never really paid much attention to it but Bella truly had a golden year. This year Bella was adopted by Doug

Sealed and sealed to doug and I for time and I eternity 

and she became a big sister for the first time. 

I think she's had a pretty great golden year :) she accomplished a lot for a four year old.

Woohoo Charlie is 4 months!

I feel like I blinked and Charlie is four months old! These past four months have seriously gone by so fast. I finally feel like I have a good routine and I can handle two kids. Charlie has been such a sweet baby. All she wants is to eat, sleep and be with her family. I decided babies are smarter than a lot if humans these days (myself included.) seriously she doesn't want the best of anything, she doesn't care what she's wearing or if she has the latest toy all she wants is to be with her family and to eat. Seriously she doesn't mess around when it comes to food. 

So Charlie just had her four month checkup and she weighed 15.5 lbs and is 25 1/4 inches long! It's crazy how much she's grown. She's still a very smiley baby loves chatting with people. 

New things she loves this month is her playmat even more. As I was going thru her four month pictures every time I looked up her body was in a different position. She doesn't really roll over yet so I was afraid I missed it but she is just spinning. Who needs to roll when you can spin? 

Something else She loves is her exersaucer. She has really started grabbing things and putting them in her mouth so it's super cute watching her play. I love it!!! 

Playing has really started and what she's been working on the most this month. I could watch her all day. Especially since every day she really does get stronger and can grab and reach things a little better than the day before. 

These moments are some of my favorites. 

Anywho! Another one of her favorites is going on walks which I love! I'll put her in her stroller and she hardly fusses at all. She's loves looking around. Earlier this week we did 3 miles with a friend and Charlie fussed for a minute or two at the end of our alk and then fell asleep. It was awesome. Even Bella walked the entire thing which I was proud of. 

This month we also got her ears pierced. She cried for about 5 minutes and then forgot. So not too bad. I made Doug hold her lol. 

Before 

After. Yes it was really sad. 

I'm not sure why but I'm obsessed with her chubby little hands! Seriously ADORABLE!!

Okay back to business she also started sucking her thumb. Not all the time but just randomly. She has been sucking her fingers for a while but just started on her thumb. She's adorable! 

We also started giving her solids. So far she's had green breans, banana, and sweet potato! She LOVES food! When I started giving Bella food she didn't know what to do really and she didn't care but Charlie does not mess around with food! She wants it and she wants it now! 

Okay now here are our monthly pictures! I took her rug out because I decided it's too bright and I rather focus on Charlie. Hope you enjoy :)

Her sweet face!

Here's one I wish I started from the beginning but didn't think to dang it! 

Bella and Charlie. There's only a 20 pound difference between these two. 

And of course Bella being the silly girl she is wanted her own pictures so here's Bella's 59 month pictures lol. 

She's silly and that's why I love her :)