I love my body.

I am grateful for breastfeeding. It is so hard and tiring at first not to mention painful (nobody warned me). Day #5 was the hardest and I was tempted to give up. Especially since Charlie likes to comfort suck but not on a pacifier. I tried 6 different kinds. But I am now grateful and 100% okay with her not caring for a pacifier and here's why.

Last week when we were at the hospital before anything really got started we sat around for about 5+ hours. I fed Charlie twice and both times with a cover like I always do. Even though I knew the nurses and doctors are professionals and we were in our own room but that's just how I feel comfortable nursing everywhere besides my home. Well then they putin Charlie's IV and that was terrible. Three nurses held her down on her little bed and she screamed and cried and I couldn't pick her up. Doug couldn't pick her up. I couldn't explain what was happening because she couldnt understand. I tried holding her little face and it didn't help her. Finally I decided I didn't care who was around and I leaned over the table, pulled down my shirt and nursed my baby. That was the only thing that calmed her down and soothed her. 

There is moments in life when you want to take away every ounce of pain your child is having. You are willing to do anything to comfort your baby and I am so grateful that even though I couldn't take away her pain I could still comfort her. She stopped crying and the nurse was able to finish faster. Yes I am grateful that I didn't give up. That I didn't care what others thought and mostly that I was able to find a way to show my baby that I love her and helped soothe her.